Family education

It is good that children born in the forties and fifties can live, that children in the sixties and seventies can eat and wear warm clothes, and that children in the eighties and nineties can go to school. Now, if you just stay in the previous concept of parenting, it is a bit out. About reading, the most terrible thing is that teachers who don’t study are teaching hard and parents who don’t study ask their children to read good books, which is like driving without a license in spirit.

Then, when preparing to become parents, we should study our children hard. What problems should we pay attention to in the process of getting along with our children?

First, children have no concept of time. What we have to do is to teach children patience with enough patience.

Once I had dinner at my parents’ house, I happened to meet my sister-in-law’s family. Two children were arguing about watching TV. My sister in elementary school thought of a way and agreed with her brother: "Brother, you watch an episode, and I watch an episode. An episode is 20 minutes, okay?" At that time, my brother promised to be frank and said, "OK!" However, 20 minutes passed and an episode was finished. My brother said, "I haven’t finished watching it yet, so I won’t give it." My sister muttered, and my mouth was very unhappy. I thought my brother didn’t keep his word and couldn’t beat him, so I had to compromise and say, "It’s time to show you an episode at most, so I’m going to watch it." The younger brother replied unconcerned, "Hmm!" Later, as everyone expected, even when the time came, he still didn’t fulfill his promise. The frustrated sister couldn’t bear her brother who didn’t keep his word, so she grabbed the remote control with her brother and started watching her own program. Unexpectedly, her brother didn’t let it go, and they were once caught in a "war" …

If parents don’t understand the development of their children, they must think that this younger brother is importunate and will be given a lecture when he comes up, or parents who are partial to the boy directly blame his sister for not being tolerant. In fact, for an eager child, he thinks that 20 minutes and 20 minutes of adults are not a unit at all, and his 20 minutes may be eternity. So it’s not entirely my brother’s cheating, he just has no concept of time.

Then what we have to do is patiently help him to establish the concept of time. We can adjust the alarm clock and use the hourglass to stop when the time comes, so that he can know how long 20 minutes is after repeated perception.

Second, don’t label children who are exploring development as "bad behavior".

"Baby, don’t touch the hot kettle, be careful to burn your hands." "Baby, don’t touch the vase, it’s easy to break." … Do you often tell your baby this, but it’s not as good as you want? And the more you don’t let him do it, the more he wants to try it. When you’re not paying attention, he may have got into the kitchen locker and grabbed white rice and spilled it all over the floor. Things like this are telling you: he is thinking of a thousand ways to drive you crazy, but is this his real intention?

No, he just acts according to his age. He wants to know what it feels like to have a hot kettle. He wants to know what the sound of broken vases is. It turns out that the white rice in the kitchen feels like this. This is his process of actively exploring the world and seeking development. Not only can we not stop him. Also try to provide him with safe conditions, such as eggs, water, mud …

Third, children need security, love and a sense of belonging.

Undoubtedly, safety is the first thing we should ensure as parents or caregivers. Secondly, talk, interact, play and play games with your child, give feedback to any reaction of your child at any time, accompany your child with leisurely high quality, establish a healthy emotional connection, and gradually let your child have a sense of love and belonging. We also call it "safe attachment". The trust you built before the age of three will affect your child’s life development. For example, he will form healthier interpersonal relationships, become more independent and more confident.

Original title: "Family Education | Three Points to Pay Special Attention to in Raising Children"